My Feelings About This Project

            A couple weeks ago, when we are assigned to write like 3 paragraphs a day about whatever you want, for two weeks, I guess you could say I wasn’t happy. It’s not that I don’t like writing, I just felt like I didn’t have the energy to write a blog post every single day. It’s not even the idea of physically writing something, for me I most struggle with coming up with what to write about. I honestly never thought I would be able to write about something new everyday. Now that it’s over, I think I learned so much about writing and myself.

            In the end, I actually turned out to kind of like this project. I think this is because instead of writing about boring learning-related things like most of the pieces I write for school, this past week I was able to write about things that are important to me. This made writing the posts a lot more fun and they were actually much easier to write. I liked how I was able to express myself, and I think I learned some things about who I am, too. I also think that having to write something everyday for about two weeks greatly improved my writing skills.

            There were a few things I struggled with in doing this project. One was trying to come up with an idea every single day. I don’t know why this was so hard for me, but I guess it’s because I’m not a very creative person. I also have many dreams, but I always tried to pick one that I would be able to write a lot about and other people would be able to relate to. I think I also had a hard time because I’m the kind of person tends to rely on their friends for opinions and ideas. So, everyday I had to go out my comfort zone and trust that my idea was okay. This project definitely made me more independent, and even a little more creative. Doing these blogs everyday also wasn’t the best because I had to write something almost every single day. This made it hard because I had to do this project on top of the other homework I had that day. In general, when I write things, it just takes me a pretty long time. So, every night I had to basically reserve a time for writing my blog entries. I think this project was pretty fun and helpful to my writing and creativity. But, I’m kind of glad it’s over so I don’t have to stress over it anymore.  

Overcome My Fears

            As a normal human, I have many fears on a day-to-day basis. These fears vary from really small things, to pretty big things. Even the smallest fears are important to me; they affect how I act or feel. Sometimes, my fear of something can be so strong, but I never try to overcome it. One day, I want to be able to face my fears comfortably and get over them.

            Some of my fears can even control how I live my life. For example, if I come home alone, I have to turn on every single light in my house. This is because I have a huge fear of the dark. I’ve had this fear ever since I was little, and it really hasn’t changed much. When I was a kid, I was terrified of someone coming into my house and taking me, or things like that. I guess I watched too much TV or something… Anyways, in all those movies or shows I watched, the worst things happened in the dark. There was always something or someone waiting, ready to hurt you in some way. So, I would always look into the dark and see shadows of things or imagine that there was something there. I think this fear has gotten a little better over the years. Like now, I sometimes go into a room to get something for like 10 seconds… but then I turn the lights back on. I guess I could hope that I could gradually improve, but I think that some fears may never go away.

            Unlike my fear of the dark, which just kind of grew from my imagination, some fears can come from past experiences. For me, this past experience was when I got into a car crash with my babysitter, about 4 or 5 years ago. It was just a normal summer day, and I was coming home from her house. When suddenly, some idiot ran the red light and crashed right into the driver’s side of our car. I won’t go into much detail, but I was thankfully un-harmed except for a couple of bruises from the seat belt (thank God for those…). Unfortunately, my babysitter was not so lucky and got a cut and some pretty bad internal damage to her forehead. When it happened, I was just in so much shock and I couldn’t really believe that it was reality. Before I knew it, I was in an ambulance (my first time in one, how exciting) with just my babysitter and her boyfriend. At that moment, I felt so alone and scared without my parents or even anyone I knew able to help me. It took my babysitter at least a month to heal, and even though my bruises faded, I think I’m scarred forever by that experience. When I’m in the car now, I am so scared of something happening to us. I think I watch the road more than the driver does, and I freak out when we even come close to getting in a crash. I think this fear has caused the most damage, because now I’m even afraid to learn how to drive. For most teenagers, driving is something they look forward to more than anything. For me, it’s just another thing to be scared of, because of something that happened years ago. I hope maybe one day I can get over this fear, but I have a feeling it will stick with me for a while.

Picture from Google Images  

Highschool...

            Over the past few months, there’s been a big decision on my mind. This issue is something that will basically determine my future (no pressure…), so it’s been pretty stressful to think about. I’ve been trying to decide where to go to high school. I obviously have my options of where I want to go, and submitted my applications, but pretty soon I will have to make the final decision. For some people in my class, it’s easy for them; they have their “dream school” to go to if they’re accepted. And even if they can’t go to that place, there is a back-up plan that they are still kind of happy about.  But for me, the decision is more complicated.

            For one thing, I have three options. This may seem like actually a small amount of options, but the decision kind of more than that. What I mean by this is that the high school I go to depends a lot on many other things. My options are: George School, Council Rock North, and Pennsbury High School. I guess you might think I would obviously want to go to George School, since I go to a private school now. Honestly, I do want to go there, but not really that much. I think going to a Quaker school my whole life has kind of turned me off from going to a high school like that. It’s not that I don’t like it, I just feel like I’m in a bubble half the time. Even when I was younger, I remember thinking about how strict the teachers were at recess time and things like that. I remember always getting “yelled at” for not including someone to play with me or my friends or going on the grass… I feel like I didn’t really have the chance to be a free and really happy kid. And, now (in eighth grade), I still feel a lot of those limitations. The teachers are now especially hard on us since we’re supposed to be the “role models” for the school, so I’m excited for next year where there will be less pressure since I’ll be the “new kid.” Another problem I have with going to a private school is the size. I know not all Quaker schools are so small, but Newtown Friends and George School are not big at all. I guess it would help because it’s less people to worry about and you could learn more. But, for me, I just can’t wait to get out because I’ve known and been in classes with the same people for like 9 years now. So, when I go to high school, I would kind of rather there be a lot more people, so I can learn to branch out and make new friends.

            There are a couple issues with going to public school though. First off, there’s the fact that there would be at least 10x more people in my grade than in eighth grade right now. I definitely think the first few weeks would be hard, adjusting to the way the school works, trying to make new friends, and there will probably be a big workload. And then, at the moment, I’m faced with the decision of “picking” whether I want to go to Council Rock or Pennsbury. I know I can’t really pick because it’s decided based on where I live, but when I pick where I want to go, I could move. Moving, of course, is not an easy thing to do. If I stayed where I live now, I would go to Pennsbury. For some reason, I don’t really want to go there. I guess it’s because there are like 1,000 people in the grade, which is just crazy to me. Also, I know a lot of the people that go there, and they aren’t the most “classy” people, and I’m not sure if I would fit in. I know I would make friends and get used to it after a while, but I would rather go to Council Rock. It’s a little bit smaller than Pennsbury, and I know more people there that I could be friends with and I would maybe fit in better there. Also, my good friends from school here, Ben and Emma, will be going to there. So at least I could be friends with a couple people. I guess I would like to go to George School or North, but we’ll see what happens. My dream is that next year when I go to high school, I’ll be happy with my choice and have a good four years full of memories there.

Pictures from Google Images 

No More Racism

Throughout history, racism has been a huge problem. Even after slavery and World War II, racism seems to hang over our heads, never leaving. Even though our nation has gotten a lot better about it over time, there is so much room for improvement. One day, I hope that we can overlook the differences between each other (entirely) and live together in peace.

            Not only is this issue big in our whole nation, but it’s also kind of personal to me. As probably most of you know, my grandma was born in the Nicaragua (if you don’t know where that is…Google it), and moved to the US when she was around 30. She didn’t know much English, and didn’t even know how to drive. So, fitting in around here was pretty tough for her. If not knowing English wasn’t enough, she was also obviously from somewhere else by the color of her skin. I don’t know if it was any worse when she was younger, but now, she tells me all these things about how people are racist towards her. She’s a sensitive person so I don’t if people are actually being prejudice, but she tells me things about how the cashier at Macy’s gave her a hard time or somebody looked at her weirdly for no reason. My grandma likes to make scenes, so these things could be just part of her imagination, but I think that these things kind of show that racism is definitely around today.

            I honestly do not face that many problems with racism myself. The only thing that makes me look “different” from some people is that my skin is a little bit darker than normal. Most people just comment on it saying, “You’re so tan!” and things like that. A couple people do occasionally ask where I’m from or something, but I don’t seem to ever be judged by my answer. I don’t really know why things are so different for me than for my grandma, but I guess it’s that maybe our society is getting a little better about being racist…A little bit? But, I know that things are harder for people who are more obviously of a different race, so I hope one day we don’t have to face these problems in life. 

Picture from Google Images

STOP THE SOPA ACT

            The Internet is basically my life. There’s websites to help me understand things like Google or Wikipedia, and I honestly couldn’t do my homework without them… and then there’s websites for social networking, that I end up spending way too much time on everyday (Tumblr and Facebook…). And, there’s always YouTube, where I spend hours watching music videos and stupid animal videos for entertainment. Sadly, if I didn’t spend my time going to these websites, I would have nothing to do. So, if those websites or things like that were shut down, I don’t know what I would do with my life. This is why I strongly protest the SOPA act.

            In a way, I understand where they are coming from with trying to pass this act. Everyday, thousands of media files are downloaded or created illegally. And, sometimes people “steal” copyrighted material even if they don’t know it. I really don’t see what the big problem is, though. Maybe because I don’t really have anything out there that’s copyrighted or has a possibility of being stolen. But I think that if someone cared so strongly about their music or video, maybe the rights should change for just that one person’s material, not necessarily everyone else.

            But then, there’s the side I’m on, the people against the act. I’m not only against it because of the possibility of them shutting down my favorite websites. I think it is against our rights as citizens of the US. As citizens, we get the right to many things like freedom, and that’s what’s supposed to make our country better than some other countries. With this new act, though, they are going against our freedom of speech. If they do end up going through with the bill, they would shut down any website or blog that has the possibility of copyright. I feel like the government would find reasons to shut down many innocent blogs and websites, only because they took a quote or picture from somewhere and didn’t cite it. Actually, they would be going against this bill even if their sources were cited. This just seems unfair, and almost makes no one able to post anything… at all. Also, the whole point of a lot of sites like social networking websites is to share things.  If they are trying to shut down the Internet forever, I guess it’s working. Because, honestly, I don’t think there would be any reason to use the Internet when I can’t even go onto the websites I use.  

Meet Taylor Swift

            Music is a huge part of my life. I literally listen to it everyday and I don’t know what I would do without it. I also don’t know what I would do if the people who write/sing those songs were not around. Most of the singers out there write their own music. So, you know that when they sing their own songs, they have much more meaning to them and are sung with passion. I have a whole bunch of favorite artists, but for some reason I love Taylor Swift a lot. Another one of my dreams is to see her live, and maybe even meet her.

            I admit that her music isn’t the best, but she’s such an inspirational person, at least to me. For one thing, she’s not afraid to write about what she wants to. If some guy goes and breaks her heart, the next day she’ll probably already have a song written about it. To some people that may seem kind of annoying, but I think it shows how powerful she is as a person. Since she writes her songs about personal experiences, I also love how I can relate to almost everything she sings about. If I had a bad day, her music is always something that can make me feel better.

           

            With Taylor being a celebrity, there’s also so much pressure on her to be perfect. Of course, no one is, so she’s had to go through a lot. These things have only made her stronger and a better person. I love how she’s not the typical celebrity. She actually started out in Pennsylvania, and then moved to another small town in Nashville. And, she looks just like a normal person; she has crazy curly, frizzy hair like me, and is often called “the girl next door,” for her down-to-earth personality. She’s also not afraid to show people her imperfections. She inspires me to love my life for what it is and dream big. 

Picture from Google Images

My Life in 15 Years

            Even though I definitely haven’t planned my life yet (I don’t even know where I’m going to high school…), sometimes I like to imagine what it would be like. I guess I’m picturing what my life would be in about 15 years, when I’m 29 years old.  I would hope to have gone to college, or if I dropped out to become a singer or something, that’s cool too.

            I would like to live in a small town - probably not Pennsylvania – but nowhere too small, and definitely not with a lot of people. I don’t really know why, but I love the simplicity and security of living in a little town, and living in a big city like New York would probably not be for me. One of my pet peeves… or fears… or something is being around a lot of people at once. There’s something about it that makes me nervous and anxious and it’s bad. Anyways, I think small towns are a lot cuter and better to raise a family in. Oh yeah, one of my dreams by the time I’m 30 is to be married and have children. I really do not want to have to be living alone (without a husband) my whole life… I mean I would have my cats, but that obviously would not be enough. I guess I’m sort of that stereotypical girl, dreaming for a fairytale relationship and wedding and a perfect life. Of course no one’s life can be perfect, but I can make it seem perfect by doing things that make me happy.

            A lot of things in my life would rely on what my career and job will be. Honestly, I have no idea what I really want to be. When I was younger, I was that little girl that loved animals and wanted to be a vet or a zookeeper or something like that. I think those days are behind me, and I definitely want to do more than that. I also do not want to be one of those people who hate going to work; one of my dreams is to love my job and the people I work with. If I had any idea what this job would be, it would definitely be something that involves working with people or other living creatures. Even though I spend too much time on the computer now, I don’t think I could live with myself if my job was a secretary or anything like that. I would want to be able to come home to my kids and husband and tell them exciting stories about my day at work. 

Picture from Google Images

Have SOME Athletic Talent

            As a lot of you may know, I am not the most athletic person out there. I mean everyone probably realizes it since you are all in gym class with me, and in those classes I basically just trip over myself and I do not help my team at all. I am not trying to be hard on myself, just keeping it real… Anyways, I was not always so spaztic and un-athletic; my younger self was not too bad at soccer or dance and I always thought I did pretty well in games or recitals. I guess puberty basically turned that around, and while other people gained things to help with sports, my body decided it would make me a little more spazzy than usual. When I’m playing the sports that I do, I look around at the other people on my team and think “One day I want to be able to have skills like that.”

            I don’t think this is that much of an unreachable goal, if I’m willing to try my hardest for it. But, I don’t know if I have it in me to try as hard as I need to. At the moment, I do dance, soccer, basketball, and lacrosse. If you watched me play, though, you would probably not think I’ve been doing these sports for a couple years or more. In general, I just don’t think I’m an athletic person; I was not born to play sports. The only reason I even started playing sports like soccer was because my dad used to play. I don’t think he was that bad, but I obviously did not inherit that trait… Even though that’s true, I stuck with it for about 10 years and I’m still trying my best now.

            Sports or athletic things aren’t really the problem; I think I have more of an issue with situations where I’m under a lot of pressure. All throughout my life, I have just been awful under pressure and I always crack. Even doing something simple like tying my shoes when someone is watching me turns out to be harder than usual. I end up messing up a lot of times, and it takes too much time than it should. This is a lot like what happens when I’m playing sports- especially games- when other people are watching me. Just the fact that there are so many eyes on me, watching my every move, freaks me out and makes me nervous. Then when I mess up because of that, I feel a lot worse about mistake, even though it’s usually something small. Anyways, I have concluded that sports aren’t really something I should get into seriously, but they can be a fun after-school activity. 

Picture from Google Images

What Do Your Dreams Mean?

            Dreaming can come in a couple different forms, but all of my blog posts so far have been basically about one of them; things I wish to do or that I wish would happen. There could also be literal dreams, like the ones you have while sleeping, or even daydreaming. Even though you don’t have much control over what you dream about at night, studies show that these things you dream about are something you wish for, fear, or just think about. I have not remembered that many of my dreams lately (or ones I would be able to share with the class…), so I interviewed Sam about what a recent dream was, and how he interpreted it.

            His dream was that he was in a dance studio, one he used to dance at, and he was just looking around the place. There was a performance going on while he was there, so he was watching it. In this dream, he saw some of his camp friends and old friends sitting in the audience. These friends were not people he is particularly close with, and he has fallen out of contact with these people. Sam interpreted that he dreamt this because lately, he has been feeling distant from all of his friends, and that he’s having trouble connecting with them. He also interprets this as a way of telling him to put himself in places that he feels comfortable. This basically means that all these friends that he saw were from places he loves and misses, so re-connecting with those people could make him happier and more comfortable. Even though some dreams could seem pointless, like this one for example, once you examine it closer, the dream might contain a lot of importance.

            Personally, I think that dreams always mean something. You might not say that’s true because sometimes the things we dream about seem so stupid and pointless. But, they still have meaning, even if that meaning is stupid and pointless too. For example, I’ve had dreams about big fears of mine like being kidnapped when I was little, and even one about my grandma and I having to run away from a dog. I know those things seem meaningless, but when I was younger my biggest fear was being kidnapped or robbed and I thought about it all the time. Also, my grandma is very scared of dogs, so the dog part of that dream was actually very important. In the past, I have also dreamt about happier and sillier things, but those dreams had some purpose as well. Even those dreams where it’s just me and a couple of my friends together, I wake up feeling happier and greater fulfilled than when I went to sleep. Sometimes, I dream about impossible fantasies, which are the best dreams. But then, you wake up, and for an instant you think it actually happened and even feel happy… Then two seconds later you realize it was just a dream, and something that might never happen, and there’s kind of a sad feeling that occurs. No matter what the dream was about or what emotion came with it, I always take the time to think about what it means. Talking about dreams using this much detail made me realize the power dreams can have on my emotions and thoughts. 

Society "Saved" the Teenager

The past few days I have been talking about little personal goals, not really anything big or important to anyone else. But, today, I want to talk about a big dream for the world, and what I hope it will be like one day. My dream is for our society to not have such high expectations. I don’t think I speak just for myself when I say that I have many insecurities about how I look or act.

 But, why do we have all these problems that we find with ourselves? I think it’s because we worry so much about how we look to someone else. Because of the society we live in, there is this image of how we should look. The person we see is has a perfect body, perfect face, perfect hair… and perfect everything else. Then, we look at ourselves in the mirror with our imperfect features, and think that we’re not good enough for everyone else. I guess this isn’t true for everyone, but I know that many people aren’t happy with themselves at one point or another. I’ve seen a lot examples of it: the girl with curly hair wishes for straight hair, while the girl with straight hair envies the other girl’s curls, and the shy person wants so badly to be outgoing, while the popular and outgoing person secretly wishes for the quiet life of a shy person.

Then there’s also the fact that we compare ourselves to every other person out there. It’s kind of impossible not to, when everywhere you turn there’s a picture of a super model with flawless (and obviously edited) features. Like, when I go out in public with anyone, I always look in the mirror and think, “What will someone think of me in this outfit?” or something like that. I don’t know why… I guess it’s because I know that when I’m somewhere, I “people watch” and wonder about what that person’s story is. I try not to judge people from how they look, but I do admit that I do it sometimes. When you see someone wearing designer jeans and shoes and obviously wearing expensive things, the conclusion you would probably come to was that they were rich, and maybe even bratty or stuck-up. But, if you really think about it, you could be totally wrong. Maybe they’re actually very poor, and their family all saved up for these designer items, and now this girl is so excited to wear everything so she wears them all at the time. Then, back at her house, her closet is filled up with clothes from target and Wal-Mart. But maybe she’s actually very happy, happier than people who are always worrying about how they look to other people. Sometimes, you have to realize that it doesn’t matter how “perfect” you are, if you be yourself and convince yourself that there are reasons to be happy, you will be happy.

Words can hurt. This constant judgment of people has lead to the self-harm of millions of people, and so many of these people are teenagers. I think this is because we care so much so much about what other people think, really because most of us haven’t found our true self yet. Once, I heard this saying, “Society killed the teenager.” It’s kind of true, kids would not want to hurt themselves if it weren’t for the expectations of our society. Personally, I haven’t really thought about self-harm or suicide. I do occasionally feel so fed-up and done with everything that I wish I don’t wake up in the morning, but I really don’t want to die. I know that might seem very shocking to a lot of people, since at school I seem like this bubbly, energetic, and smiling girl (most of the time). Usually those smiles and laughs are real, but sometimes for other people, behind a smile can be so much sadness. But, they put on that fake smile, because the world also expects us all to be happy all the time. I also know that sometimes you want to act kind of sad for a minute or two, someone immediately accuses of you of seeking attention.

So, it basically seems like no one is ever happy with their life, or themselves. This is mostly because of these high standards set by society. I hope that one day we can learn to love ourselves for who we are, and not for what other people think. One day, maybe, society could save the teenager.

I'm very sorry for how long this is... I did not plan to write this much...

Become an Inspiration

 As I’ve grown throughout the years, I have been greatly influenced (mostly when I was younger) by a couple different people. Most of the people I am/was influenced by are only a little bit older than I am, but they still have the power to influence me in many ways. The people that influenced me in the past inspired me to be an inspiration for my generation. Becoming an inspiration, and someone a little kid can look up to, is a big dream of mine.

As a person, I have always loved kids and I think they are the cutest things. When I worked at my camp over the summer as a CIT for three and four year olds, you learn a lot about how they think and act. One of the highlights of being their counselor was when my campers would see me around the camp and would scream “MISS JESSIE!” (Yes, that’s what they called me…) and run over and give me a hug. This feeling that I was so important to them was one of the best feelings, and also kind of the worst. I loved that they looked up to me and loved me so much, but that also meant I had to watch what I did or said around them, and kind of always had to keep my guard up. Even though these consequences are involved with being an inspiration to other people, being the “Girl That Everyone Looks Up To” would make it worth it.

I am not exactly sure how I would go about being an inspiration to others. I guess I could be an influence with people in a lot of different places; somewhere as small and nice as my summer camp, or maybe even when (if…) I become famous. If I actually went through with my dreams of becoming famous and being an inspiration, it could be hard. Like in the world today, celebrities that I looked up to one time are changing and becoming a person I would not want to be. These changes in them are occurring mostly because of what’s become of our society, and the thought that everyone has to be perfect. I hope one day I can be that inspiration, in any way, and not live in a society with such high expectations. 

Travel to the City of Romance

Another place I would love to travel to would definitely be someplace foreign; and not like my boring Pennsylvania home. Somewhere I’ve always wanted to go is Paris. It just seems like the perfect place; it’s beautiful and known for romance…that’s always nice!

Of course, this isn’t somewhere I would want to go alone or with just my family. I would plan on bringing a couple of my best friends, because friendship is so important to me. Sharing memories as big as going to another country is amazing and an experience we could remember for years. I think you can also enjoy yourself a lot more, just because everything is more fun with friends, right? Also, I think that around my really good friends I am outgoing and the best person I could be, which would make the trip very interesting for all of us.

We could also spend all of our days being touristy and exploring everything the city has to offer. And, of course, we would go to the Eiffel Tower… what’s Paris without it? And, no matter how tired we are, I would force my friends to climb every single one of those 1,000 or more steps. I don’t know why, but if I’m going to do something that memorable, I don’t want to say I didn’t get to see the view because I was either in the elevator or waiting to get on it. After we’re done with all our adventures, at least we would’ve gotten some exercise. I would of course come back with a ton of unforgettable memories with my friends. 

If I Were Famous...

As I think of my many other dreams, some very big (and probably un-reachable) things come to mind. One of these dreams is to become famous, like an actress or singer. It’s one of those crazy imaginations, because I possess no actual singing or acting talent… at all. It is actually painful to hear me sing. But, I think it would be so cool to be known for singing or acting or something like that.

            Even if I could not be famous from having an actual talent (I’m athletically incapable as well… and any other talent you could think of), I would love to be known for maybe something else I did. Not anything bad, but I could maybe be one of those funny YouTube people, or I might even find a reason to have a reality show. I know being a celebrity isn’t always how you expect it, but nothing comes without some difficulties. The reason I love celebrities so much is that a lot of them inspire me in many ways. If I became famous, I would want to be that inspiration to kids everywhere, and it would be worth the bad things if I knew there were people out there who look up to me. I guess even that has its complications, like if I did something wrong, every kid that looks up to me would be disappointed or influenced badly. I don’t really want to be THAT famous where cameras follow me everywhere I go, so I think I’ll be okay. And, as a bonus, all of the people I know now would be able to say, “That girl used to be my best friend!”…That’d be pretty cool too. 

What I Would Do in California

            One of the first dreams that came to mind were places I would like to travel. Of course A LOT of things came to mind about that, but I finally decided a place I’ve always wanted to go was California. Even though it’s not some exotic country with millions of things to do, I just really like something about it. I’ve always wanted to go there to just relax and not worry about a thing. In a lot of ways it’s like a small town and a big town all at the same time; there are little towns where you could really feel like home, then there are fancy parts that are full of celebrities and things like that.

            I also feel like there are many things to do there and I would never be bored. For one thing, I could go to Disney Land and have the time of my life like I was a little kid again. I would definitely visit the beaches there, where I could learn to surf, get a nice tan even in the winter, and stalk hot guys. Something that’s always been on my bucket list for a while is seeing a celebrity unexpectedly. Being that California is the home to many celebrities, California would be a perfect place to do that. I would go on the Internet and try to find out if someone was going to be at a certain place that day, and try to go there too. The whole day, I would just go around with a smartphone, camera, and a permanent marker and devote my time to try to spot a celebrity. Even if I come back empty handed, I would still have the experience with me, and I could try again the next day. There’s nothing like a picture with you and your idol as your next Facebook profile picture.