Have SOME Athletic Talent

            As a lot of you may know, I am not the most athletic person out there. I mean everyone probably realizes it since you are all in gym class with me, and in those classes I basically just trip over myself and I do not help my team at all. I am not trying to be hard on myself, just keeping it real… Anyways, I was not always so spaztic and un-athletic; my younger self was not too bad at soccer or dance and I always thought I did pretty well in games or recitals. I guess puberty basically turned that around, and while other people gained things to help with sports, my body decided it would make me a little more spazzy than usual. When I’m playing the sports that I do, I look around at the other people on my team and think “One day I want to be able to have skills like that.”

            I don’t think this is that much of an unreachable goal, if I’m willing to try my hardest for it. But, I don’t know if I have it in me to try as hard as I need to. At the moment, I do dance, soccer, basketball, and lacrosse. If you watched me play, though, you would probably not think I’ve been doing these sports for a couple years or more. In general, I just don’t think I’m an athletic person; I was not born to play sports. The only reason I even started playing sports like soccer was because my dad used to play. I don’t think he was that bad, but I obviously did not inherit that trait… Even though that’s true, I stuck with it for about 10 years and I’m still trying my best now.

            Sports or athletic things aren’t really the problem; I think I have more of an issue with situations where I’m under a lot of pressure. All throughout my life, I have just been awful under pressure and I always crack. Even doing something simple like tying my shoes when someone is watching me turns out to be harder than usual. I end up messing up a lot of times, and it takes too much time than it should. This is a lot like what happens when I’m playing sports- especially games- when other people are watching me. Just the fact that there are so many eyes on me, watching my every move, freaks me out and makes me nervous. Then when I mess up because of that, I feel a lot worse about mistake, even though it’s usually something small. Anyways, I have concluded that sports aren’t really something I should get into seriously, but they can be a fun after-school activity. 

Picture from Google Images

What Do Your Dreams Mean?

            Dreaming can come in a couple different forms, but all of my blog posts so far have been basically about one of them; things I wish to do or that I wish would happen. There could also be literal dreams, like the ones you have while sleeping, or even daydreaming. Even though you don’t have much control over what you dream about at night, studies show that these things you dream about are something you wish for, fear, or just think about. I have not remembered that many of my dreams lately (or ones I would be able to share with the class…), so I interviewed Sam about what a recent dream was, and how he interpreted it.

            His dream was that he was in a dance studio, one he used to dance at, and he was just looking around the place. There was a performance going on while he was there, so he was watching it. In this dream, he saw some of his camp friends and old friends sitting in the audience. These friends were not people he is particularly close with, and he has fallen out of contact with these people. Sam interpreted that he dreamt this because lately, he has been feeling distant from all of his friends, and that he’s having trouble connecting with them. He also interprets this as a way of telling him to put himself in places that he feels comfortable. This basically means that all these friends that he saw were from places he loves and misses, so re-connecting with those people could make him happier and more comfortable. Even though some dreams could seem pointless, like this one for example, once you examine it closer, the dream might contain a lot of importance.

            Personally, I think that dreams always mean something. You might not say that’s true because sometimes the things we dream about seem so stupid and pointless. But, they still have meaning, even if that meaning is stupid and pointless too. For example, I’ve had dreams about big fears of mine like being kidnapped when I was little, and even one about my grandma and I having to run away from a dog. I know those things seem meaningless, but when I was younger my biggest fear was being kidnapped or robbed and I thought about it all the time. Also, my grandma is very scared of dogs, so the dog part of that dream was actually very important. In the past, I have also dreamt about happier and sillier things, but those dreams had some purpose as well. Even those dreams where it’s just me and a couple of my friends together, I wake up feeling happier and greater fulfilled than when I went to sleep. Sometimes, I dream about impossible fantasies, which are the best dreams. But then, you wake up, and for an instant you think it actually happened and even feel happy… Then two seconds later you realize it was just a dream, and something that might never happen, and there’s kind of a sad feeling that occurs. No matter what the dream was about or what emotion came with it, I always take the time to think about what it means. Talking about dreams using this much detail made me realize the power dreams can have on my emotions and thoughts. 

Society "Saved" the Teenager

The past few days I have been talking about little personal goals, not really anything big or important to anyone else. But, today, I want to talk about a big dream for the world, and what I hope it will be like one day. My dream is for our society to not have such high expectations. I don’t think I speak just for myself when I say that I have many insecurities about how I look or act.

 But, why do we have all these problems that we find with ourselves? I think it’s because we worry so much about how we look to someone else. Because of the society we live in, there is this image of how we should look. The person we see is has a perfect body, perfect face, perfect hair… and perfect everything else. Then, we look at ourselves in the mirror with our imperfect features, and think that we’re not good enough for everyone else. I guess this isn’t true for everyone, but I know that many people aren’t happy with themselves at one point or another. I’ve seen a lot examples of it: the girl with curly hair wishes for straight hair, while the girl with straight hair envies the other girl’s curls, and the shy person wants so badly to be outgoing, while the popular and outgoing person secretly wishes for the quiet life of a shy person.

Then there’s also the fact that we compare ourselves to every other person out there. It’s kind of impossible not to, when everywhere you turn there’s a picture of a super model with flawless (and obviously edited) features. Like, when I go out in public with anyone, I always look in the mirror and think, “What will someone think of me in this outfit?” or something like that. I don’t know why… I guess it’s because I know that when I’m somewhere, I “people watch” and wonder about what that person’s story is. I try not to judge people from how they look, but I do admit that I do it sometimes. When you see someone wearing designer jeans and shoes and obviously wearing expensive things, the conclusion you would probably come to was that they were rich, and maybe even bratty or stuck-up. But, if you really think about it, you could be totally wrong. Maybe they’re actually very poor, and their family all saved up for these designer items, and now this girl is so excited to wear everything so she wears them all at the time. Then, back at her house, her closet is filled up with clothes from target and Wal-Mart. But maybe she’s actually very happy, happier than people who are always worrying about how they look to other people. Sometimes, you have to realize that it doesn’t matter how “perfect” you are, if you be yourself and convince yourself that there are reasons to be happy, you will be happy.

Words can hurt. This constant judgment of people has lead to the self-harm of millions of people, and so many of these people are teenagers. I think this is because we care so much so much about what other people think, really because most of us haven’t found our true self yet. Once, I heard this saying, “Society killed the teenager.” It’s kind of true, kids would not want to hurt themselves if it weren’t for the expectations of our society. Personally, I haven’t really thought about self-harm or suicide. I do occasionally feel so fed-up and done with everything that I wish I don’t wake up in the morning, but I really don’t want to die. I know that might seem very shocking to a lot of people, since at school I seem like this bubbly, energetic, and smiling girl (most of the time). Usually those smiles and laughs are real, but sometimes for other people, behind a smile can be so much sadness. But, they put on that fake smile, because the world also expects us all to be happy all the time. I also know that sometimes you want to act kind of sad for a minute or two, someone immediately accuses of you of seeking attention.

So, it basically seems like no one is ever happy with their life, or themselves. This is mostly because of these high standards set by society. I hope that one day we can learn to love ourselves for who we are, and not for what other people think. One day, maybe, society could save the teenager.

I'm very sorry for how long this is... I did not plan to write this much...

Become an Inspiration

 As I’ve grown throughout the years, I have been greatly influenced (mostly when I was younger) by a couple different people. Most of the people I am/was influenced by are only a little bit older than I am, but they still have the power to influence me in many ways. The people that influenced me in the past inspired me to be an inspiration for my generation. Becoming an inspiration, and someone a little kid can look up to, is a big dream of mine.

As a person, I have always loved kids and I think they are the cutest things. When I worked at my camp over the summer as a CIT for three and four year olds, you learn a lot about how they think and act. One of the highlights of being their counselor was when my campers would see me around the camp and would scream “MISS JESSIE!” (Yes, that’s what they called me…) and run over and give me a hug. This feeling that I was so important to them was one of the best feelings, and also kind of the worst. I loved that they looked up to me and loved me so much, but that also meant I had to watch what I did or said around them, and kind of always had to keep my guard up. Even though these consequences are involved with being an inspiration to other people, being the “Girl That Everyone Looks Up To” would make it worth it.

I am not exactly sure how I would go about being an inspiration to others. I guess I could be an influence with people in a lot of different places; somewhere as small and nice as my summer camp, or maybe even when (if…) I become famous. If I actually went through with my dreams of becoming famous and being an inspiration, it could be hard. Like in the world today, celebrities that I looked up to one time are changing and becoming a person I would not want to be. These changes in them are occurring mostly because of what’s become of our society, and the thought that everyone has to be perfect. I hope one day I can be that inspiration, in any way, and not live in a society with such high expectations. 

Travel to the City of Romance

Another place I would love to travel to would definitely be someplace foreign; and not like my boring Pennsylvania home. Somewhere I’ve always wanted to go is Paris. It just seems like the perfect place; it’s beautiful and known for romance…that’s always nice!

Of course, this isn’t somewhere I would want to go alone or with just my family. I would plan on bringing a couple of my best friends, because friendship is so important to me. Sharing memories as big as going to another country is amazing and an experience we could remember for years. I think you can also enjoy yourself a lot more, just because everything is more fun with friends, right? Also, I think that around my really good friends I am outgoing and the best person I could be, which would make the trip very interesting for all of us.

We could also spend all of our days being touristy and exploring everything the city has to offer. And, of course, we would go to the Eiffel Tower… what’s Paris without it? And, no matter how tired we are, I would force my friends to climb every single one of those 1,000 or more steps. I don’t know why, but if I’m going to do something that memorable, I don’t want to say I didn’t get to see the view because I was either in the elevator or waiting to get on it. After we’re done with all our adventures, at least we would’ve gotten some exercise. I would of course come back with a ton of unforgettable memories with my friends. 

If I Were Famous...

As I think of my many other dreams, some very big (and probably un-reachable) things come to mind. One of these dreams is to become famous, like an actress or singer. It’s one of those crazy imaginations, because I possess no actual singing or acting talent… at all. It is actually painful to hear me sing. But, I think it would be so cool to be known for singing or acting or something like that.

            Even if I could not be famous from having an actual talent (I’m athletically incapable as well… and any other talent you could think of), I would love to be known for maybe something else I did. Not anything bad, but I could maybe be one of those funny YouTube people, or I might even find a reason to have a reality show. I know being a celebrity isn’t always how you expect it, but nothing comes without some difficulties. The reason I love celebrities so much is that a lot of them inspire me in many ways. If I became famous, I would want to be that inspiration to kids everywhere, and it would be worth the bad things if I knew there were people out there who look up to me. I guess even that has its complications, like if I did something wrong, every kid that looks up to me would be disappointed or influenced badly. I don’t really want to be THAT famous where cameras follow me everywhere I go, so I think I’ll be okay. And, as a bonus, all of the people I know now would be able to say, “That girl used to be my best friend!”…That’d be pretty cool too. 

What I Would Do in California

            One of the first dreams that came to mind were places I would like to travel. Of course A LOT of things came to mind about that, but I finally decided a place I’ve always wanted to go was California. Even though it’s not some exotic country with millions of things to do, I just really like something about it. I’ve always wanted to go there to just relax and not worry about a thing. In a lot of ways it’s like a small town and a big town all at the same time; there are little towns where you could really feel like home, then there are fancy parts that are full of celebrities and things like that.

            I also feel like there are many things to do there and I would never be bored. For one thing, I could go to Disney Land and have the time of my life like I was a little kid again. I would definitely visit the beaches there, where I could learn to surf, get a nice tan even in the winter, and stalk hot guys. Something that’s always been on my bucket list for a while is seeing a celebrity unexpectedly. Being that California is the home to many celebrities, California would be a perfect place to do that. I would go on the Internet and try to find out if someone was going to be at a certain place that day, and try to go there too. The whole day, I would just go around with a smartphone, camera, and a permanent marker and devote my time to try to spot a celebrity. Even if I come back empty handed, I would still have the experience with me, and I could try again the next day. There’s nothing like a picture with you and your idol as your next Facebook profile picture.